¡Feliz Año Nuevo, amigos! 😎
Happy 2024 😊
I hope everyone had a wonderful time with family and friends over Christmas!
Tom gave me a vacuum on Christmas morning…and after over two years of using a broom, I was ecstatic! So, there I was—vacuuming the house enthusiastically while playing Christmas carols in the background…on Christmas Day 😄
Very few people have vacuums here. Most people just get by with brooms and mops. I just love how a vacuum can get ALL the dust and sand—I’m not anti-brooms, but they just aren’t quite the same!!
On a completely different note, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about suffering. Isn’t it interesting how our human experience is all about suffering and reprieve? How do we find hope in the middle of our struggles? How do we carry on, chin up and spirit strong, even when it’s tempting to give up or be depressed? And how do we respond to our struggles—with complaining and sulking, or with gratitude and perseverance?
We’ve all had times when our own struggle is all-consuming, and we wonder when we’ll get a break. When we are struggling to make it financially, mentally, physically, or emotionally, it can feel like a constant uphill battle.
It seems to me that there are probably two options when facing hardships: become bitter (and depressed) OR ask, “How can this situation help me grow and learn?”
I know I don’t always choose the better option. I’m guilty of letting my circumstances dictate how I feel…and of letting those feelings send me spiralling downward.
A good friend recently went through her marriage ending after decades, and is now trying to pick up the pieces of her life and carry on. A lot of days are incredibly hard, and she often feels numb inside. But she presses on.
I have other friends who are still suffering because of one or two bad choices made when they were much younger. And others who are struggling with their health or finances.
"Life is suffering...what do you do in the face of that suffering? Try to reduce it. Start with yourself.”
—Jordan Peterson
There are things as people we’re ashamed to talk about, but the pain is there, and sometimes we don’t even know where exactly it’s coming from. Finding inner healing can be a long journey.
Often the hard stuff in life doesn’t seem to let up! One of my friends had several miscarriages in a row. Just when she thought her struggle had ended, she was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness and battled that for a year. Then, her dad died suddenly shortly after that. It seemed to be altogether too much for one person! And yet she chose to be a thankful warrior, and to keep a smile on her face, amidst it all. I have such deep respect for her, because she never blamed God, but kept trusting Him through everything.
God allows painful things in this broken world, but He still loves us deeply…and comforts us in our pain and brokenness.
One thing I’ve learned in my own pain is that we can find joy, even while we’re going through hard things. My grandmother lived out her last several months in the nursing home where I worked. By then, she was in a wheelchair and needed help with simple everyday tasks. She’d relied on my grandpa a lot while he was still with her, but now that he was gone, she needed us.
It was such a privilege to be by her side, loving on her whenever I could. I knew it wasn’t easy for her to give up her autonomy and let others care for her—she’d been a fiercely independent and hard-working woman for so many decades, helping my grandpa run the family farm, growing and processing food for their whole family, helping and giving to others, and raising their ten children. And she and my grandpa also grew beautiful flowers for the flower shop she ran in town.
We had some conversations during her last year that I’ll never forget. Most days she was still able to laugh about the hard things, and that made such a difference. I will always cherish that special time I had with her.💖
We all know people who’ve suffered more than anyone should have to, or who are going through untold grief—some of you reading this are thinking,
“That’s me…it feels like my life’s been one hardship after another…”
I get it—not to say I’ve suffered in the same ways as you by any means—your pain is real and it’s whatever you’re experiencing right now.
Loss, pain, and change can be so hard.
In the last few years, we’ve had a lot of fun adventures, but also a lot of losses. I lost my job, our family moved away from all of our familiar things—our community, our home, our extended family, our friends…
It was incredibly hard at times. And our girls still often recount how they enjoyed being in a school with their friends, how much they miss the snow, and how they miss seeing their cousins and grandparents.
At this time last year, I often struggled to see the “light” as we were adjusting to our new settled life here in El Salvador. It wasn’t easy to be starting from “scratch” so to speak, and just beginning to make closer friends. Now as I look back, I am thankful I persevered, but many days felt lonely and hard, and I sometimes cried over the losses I felt more strongly at that time.
I’m so thankful for my girls—they always encouraged me to live in the moment—just by being kids! I learned from them how to be more grateful and present. They always seem to have something that’s inspiring or fascinating them.
While writing this, we had to put down one of our beloved stray cats. Luka was a such sweetheart. He was always kind to the other cats, and had been “best friend” to our big Gatito since we moved here in February. He was also one of the handsomest cats you’d ever meet, golden brown and black marbled together. But about a month ago, we noticed he was losing a lot of weight. On Christmas Eve, he came to stay on our doorstep for a couple days, and hardly moved. He was a mess, damp food dripping down his chin, and too weak to groom himself. Normally he was a bit timid when we’d come around, but he was clearly too frail to move much at all anymore.
We had planned to take him to the vet right after Christmas, but then he disappeared for a few days. Then Tom saw him under the neighbour’s car one morning, so we took him to the vet and she said he must have a virus or possibly a few, and it would be an expensive gamble to try to save him. And he most likely wouldn’t make it, even if we tried. We’d feared that this might be the case. The girls, Tom, and I were all incredibly sad, and cried our goodbye tears as we parted with our sweet furry friend. We buried him in the yard with some messages...
“We love you, Luka. You were always so kind and brave…”
This is the nature of life—joy and trials, happiness and tears, struggle and triumphs, “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…” as the old poet wrote in Ecclesiastes.
I recently read a book called Hope Rising about abused and rejected horses who help broken and rejected kids. It was such a good read—and almost every story was a tear-jerker. I loved the author’s perspectives on pain.
“It is true, the pain that we feel in this life is certain. What is equally certain is how we choose to feel about the pain. It can destroy us—or define us.”
—Kim Meeder
I’ve been learning this lesson lately too, in so many aspects. Talking with friends here about their losses and challenges can often be helpful for me.
My friend who is struggling to rebuild her life after many years of marriage is finding comfort in God, support in relationships with loved ones, and joy in helping others and being in nature…in the midst of her pain.
My girls miss their friends and cousins back in Canada, but they’re learning that they can make good friends and be happy with their new life here too.
Right now, one of our big challenges is looking for a new place to live. Our current house has been good to us, but now we have to move on. It’s helpful to remember that another place is just for a season. Soon we hope to be living on our land and growing most of our own food. Our girls will finally have a real “tree house” …and not have to make forts in their room out of bedsheets!
Hoping and dreaming are so nourishing to the soul. I‘ve been writing down my dreams and prayers lately. It’s encouraging to look back and see that many of those prayers prayed months ago have now become answered prayers—like getting electricity at our property finally, after months of trying to figure it out!
Whatever your struggle in this life is right now, remember that you have a purpose for being here. And pain—though this may sound cliché—is a normal part of the human experience. It won’t necessarily go away, but it will teach us things, and make us more able to empathize with others in their struggle. And it may somehow be drawing us towards finding our purpose here and growing something beautiful deep inside 💚
¡Gracias por leer mi blog!
Thanks for reading my blog!
¡Nos vemos pronto!
See you soon! 😊
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¡Muchas gracias, amigos!
Beautifully said, my friend. Hugs to you all as you remember your sweet kitty.
I like this quote from Elizabeth Elliott:
“Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering.
The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.”