Saying Goodbye
“Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” —Alfred Lord Tennyson
Hola, amigos 😍
Change is in the air.
I told a friend recently:
“I keep swaying between faith and fear in regards to this next adventure. I’m excited, but the unknown also scares me at times.”
Changes are exciting, but also hard. Sometimes they can feel unbearably hard.
I’ve always hated saying goodbye.
We have to leave behind lots of special friends that we’ve grown close to here in El Salvador. Friends from all over the world—England, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, Russia, Japan, Holland, Israel, Canada, America, etc. They’re all here for many of the same reasons as us. It’s so hard to have to say goodbye. We have met some amazing people here, and some have become such dear friends! ❤️
And we’ve known for months already that leaving would mean having to find homes for our 5 cats and 3 dogs, but when that was still months away, it didn’t seem as hard as it is in reality. 😢
We haven’t committed to moving per se, but just travelling around for 6-8 months, and seeing if Argentina feels like a good fit for our family. We’re all excited for the changes that come with going to a new place, and the opportunity to explore a new part of the world. We’ve told our girls for years about Patagonia, and we’re all looking forward to seeing it for the first time.
Tom’s quick trip in May just gave him a small taste of what life is like in Argentina nowadays, and he only just briefly saw a bit of northern Patagonia.
Our trip back in 2012 didn’t include Patagonia at all, so I’m excited to keep you all posted on our backpacking adventures down there in the new year. The girls are especially excited to see snow again.😃
We decided to do a little local adventure a couple weeks ago. There’s an area just south of San Salvador called Planes de Renderos. And there’s a beautiful place there called Puerta del Diablo (literally “the devil’s door”). It’s been made into a modern tourist attraction in the last few years, and there are a few little hikes with viewpoints as well as an insanely high zip line that stretches way above the main area, where there are shops, restaurants, and viewing platforms.
We arrived around 10:30 am, and it was already getting hot. We explored around a bit, and found a rocky area with a great view. Then we signed up for a mini hike where you had to pay and have a guide—like almost all popular hikes here in El Salvador. We joined the line with some locals and a German tourist, who told us it’s his first time in the country. He was looking forward to doing the crazy-high zip line afterwards.
The “hike” up was basically 10-15 minutes of climbing up some rocky steps carved into the side of a huge rock. Then we were there. The views of Volcan San Vicente and Lago de Ilopango were spectacular!
There was also a beautiful open “cave” to walk to that was like an indent in the side of a small mountain, dripping water down from its rugged ceiling. Exploring around there was a fun way to spend a Saturday morning. Afterwards, we found a local restaurant just down the road, because we’d heard this area has the BEST pupusas in the country. They were yummy, but we’ve had just as good on the beach. We ordered the typical “sopa de gallina” or free range chicken soup. For each of us it came with a big piece of chicken and some tortillas. And it was so delicious!
Like I mentioned, because we’re in the last few months of our time here for awhile, we’ve been trying to find homes for our 5 cats. And also hoping to find homes for the 3 dogs—who adopted us over a year ago in the mountains.
Our friend Sofi (not her real name) who was our neighbour on the beach, has been doing an incredible job of helping us with this daunting task. She has lots of great connections, and has been asking everyone she can think of—we owe her all the credit!
Not many people seem to want a new pet in this country. Anyone here who wants a cat or a dog can just look around, take one off the street, help it out, and claim it. Which is why we have so many!! 😄
We’ve been trying to gently ease our pet-loving girls into this season of releasing. There have been many extra snuggles and often tears too.
Last week, we took our gentle, sweet Nika to her new home—she was the favourite for a few of us, so it was a sad day. Sofi had asked a friend in San Salvador if they’d like a cat, and because this woman’s 12-year-old daughter was over the moon about the idea, we needed to get Nika there as soon as we could, before she found another cat!
That afternoon we all got in the car with our anxious, meowing cat in her little cage perched on our daughter’s lap. The girls sang her lullabies and spoke gently to her for the 45-minute drive.
It wasn’t easy saying goodbye to the sweet little cat we’d raised from a tiny kitten. She’d followed our girls home from the pool one day with 2 of her brothers. At first they were “outside only” kittens, and Tom and I said, “We’re probably not keeping them!” Until one day when we realized they were always inside, and they’d become part of our family.
Nika was a fighter. She’d had a lung infection as a tiny kitten, and was quite underweight. She’s been our whispering kitty ever since. When she would beg for her wet food in the morning, it was with a whispering meow from her throat. But then she would proceed to finish off ALL the wet food from all the other cats, licking it up till the dishes were shiny! 😸
Her new family seems to love her. But it was still with many tears that we left her behind.
Loss and grief can feel crushing at times. But that’s the season we’re in…Looking forward to the new, but also releasing many of the special things we’ve held dear during this chapter.
We got back home from delivering Nika, teary-eyed, and the next day, we realized that we had a major problem with our oldest dog, Ruthie.
We’ve cared for Ruthie for about 15 months, since she came to us as a starving mountain dog. Since then, she’s been like a part of our family—along with her daughter, Starlight and our male dog, Big Guy. She would come running with Tom and me in the mornings, and she preferred Tom over me when given a choice! Big Guy was always more loyal to me.
Even though Ruthie was quite old and nearly blind, she was such a loyal, brave, caring dog, defending our girls from some vicious dogs on our walks and runs.
Warning: this part gets a little raw and real.
But, for the last weeks of her life, Ruthie had a deep wound that wasn’t healing. This year there’s been an epidemic in El Salvador of a type of fly that lays its eggs, which soon grow into larvae, in open wounds. And so, this wound—hidden on her backside under her tail—had the flesh-eating larvae in it. And, being that it was already quite deep, this was a huge problem. I’d started her on antibiotics in hopes that what I thought was a small sore would heal. By the time we realized that it was quite deep (and full of worms), it was pretty far-gone. And by then the odour was awful. We took her to the vet, fearing the worst, and they recommended we put her down, saying the worms were most likely already in her organs.
Even in her suffering, Ruthie never complained. She loved her life and lived it to the fullest, always joining us on our daily runs and walks, and enjoying her down-time lying in the sunshine too.
The staff at Chivo Pets were so kind and helpful, one even carrying her for me when she refused to budge. That all helped us in her final hours—a lot.
It was such a hard day for each one of us. And I felt some guilt about the whole thing. How could I have missed this?!
Poor girl, suffering like that!
We’re so sorry, sweet Ruthie! 😔
We all miss her dearly! 💔
Side note: Just this past month, President Bukele announced that he’s going to be starting a project to help stray dogs in El Salvador along with Niall Harbison (a man who has been doing this sort of work for years in other developing countries). We’re so thankful for this, after seeing so much suffering, and feeling like our little bit of helping was just a drop in the bucket.
I also need to mention—since my last post, we found a home for our other two dogs. A family near the beach who Sofi volunteers with is taking Starlight and Big Guy. 🥲
We’re thankful they can stay together, since they’re best friends. 💞
Two of our cats will go to homes on the beach in early January—again, thanks to our amazing friend. So, we just have Nika’s two brothers to find a home for now.
I know I’ve gone on about the pets in this post, but there are SO many aspects to leaving that are hard. That’s just one of them. It feels big for us, because these 8 animals have become part of our everyday lives, and we’ve formed strong bonds with them.
We’re preparing ourselves for this new chapter. Letting go and saying goodbye to all that’s familiar can be so hard. But it’s still so worth it to have opened up our hearts and loved—friends and pets!
We have no regrets—we just wish we could take them all with us! I reminded my girls of this last week:
It’s worth the risk to open up your heart and to love deeply. I keep asking God for the strength and the courage we each need for right now. This process of letting go, in order to be open to whatever God has for us in this next step isn’t easy, but it is so necessary.
We’re all looking forward to having my parents come down here in December. It will be fun to show them around and celebrate Christmas with them for the first time in several years. For them it will be their first Christmas in the tropics. I’ll keep you posted on our escapades in the new year.
All of this to say, I’m leaning into faith over fear. And trust over doubt. 😊
As the old hymn says:
“Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!”
—Thomas O. Chisholm (1923)
Until next time, friends!
¡Hasta la próxima, amigos!
We don't know each other. I'm a Christian and mom to a bunch of teenagers, living in Alberta. I don't even remember how I first found your blog - I don't read any others... I have many of the same thoughts and values. I admire your courage in leaving Canada and it has been very interesting reading about your life and adventures elsewhere - the good, bad, and the ugly - cause its real, not just the social media shiny version. I look forward to following you online on your next adventures, and at the same time kind of hoping I don't have to walk such a path (fear) but knowing I might. But I will trust Him to guide.
Very nicely told Emily. As always your writing touched my heart and I had a wee cry. Much needed at this time in my life too. And gracias for the warning of the sad dog part. I could gently scroll down and avoid my tears becoming a puddle on the floor. And me too.