Ponderings of an Ex-pat
“If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down.”
—Toni Morrison
📍Hi, friends! If you’re new to my blog, and want to know about our story of leaving Canada last year to find more freedom, you can read it here: Daring to Jump
We have been living in El Salvador for over two months now. As I was thinking about what to write for my next blog, I realized I don’t feel like I have anything deep or profound to say. But maybe that’s not the point…I’ve been pondering lots of things lately.
Do you ever get weighed down by the “mundane” and wonder what all these little things are for? All the small, seemingly insignificant things that take up so much of your time and eat up a huge chunk of your day…? Who doesn’t, right..?!
These days, it seems like I’ve been doing a lot of cooking, schooling my girls, cleaning up (or calling my oldest daughter to do it), taking the girls to the pool for “PE class” (which is a highlight of the day!), doing the laundry, talking to Tom, sweeping the floor (or telling my daughter how to do it), taking a bit of down time, cooking again, telling the girls to clean up, reading them a story, putting them to bed. Sleep, and repeat. Do your days ever feel like that? Those aren’t the days when you post much on Facebook—except maybe cute pics of your kids or pets—or feel like you’re living an exceptional life. But for many of us, that IS life. And there’s actually so much meaning in the little things.
Finding joy in simple interactions, snuggles with my kids, enjoying a beautiful sunset like we had this evening (see above), being truly grateful for a delicious dinner…those are the things that matter and bring joy.
I took my four-year-old daughter to the store nearby the other day. As I was browsing a few items in an aisle, she started spontaneously singing and dancing next to me. That simple act filled me with so much joy, and I was in awe of her freedom. Feeling almost jealous of her, I thought about how as adults, we care WAY too much about what people think and we fear being judged. When I told Tom about it, he mentioned how maybe also since she’s not in school with other kids making fun of her or saying things about her actions, her “innocence” is being preserved longer. Hmm…could be another benefit of homeschooling! Not that our other girls had many negative experiences at their school, but they would come home sometimes and mention what other kids said about them, good or bad, approval or disapproval.
As I sat with my little girl outside afterwards, I soaked in just how much she was enjoying her ice cream cone, and fully living in the moment. I chose to also be fully present in that moment. I ignored my phone, and mostly ignored the people around us, until my little girl pointed out that a “man with a big gun” was nearby. Then I realized that someone was fixing the ATM, so several army guys were standing guard, with their huge guns. They all seemed calm and friendly. Right, we’re in El Salvador. I’d almost gotten lost in the moment and let it slip my mind.
We’ve gotten used to all the guards in our neighborhood carrying around pump-action shotguns. This is a big reason we don’t have crime in these gated communities. Recently we’ve heard that back home there was way more crime in our small communities. More crime in general actually. Why? Because many criminals aren’t getting penalized and sometimes street people would even commit crimes in the hopes that they’d end up in jail for the winter. Why not get a warm place to stay if you’re homeless, right? Pardon my rabbit trail…
A few weeks ago, we took our girls to an amusement park here. The rides were anywhere from $2-$3 per person. We all had a blast, especially the girls. For them, it had been something we’d been talking about and looking forward to for awhile. And since it was their first time on a roller coaster, it was quite the thrill! They begged to go again, so after trying out a couple other rides, Tom took them for another crazy ride, and I took some pictures.
At “Bitcoin Beach” in El Zonte, they have a kids’ surf club that our girls enjoy. It runs every Saturday, and the kids from around town come to do some group activities and surf. Last time we went, we played some games and then did beach plastic clean-up before the surf lesson. I couldn’t believe how many tiny pieces of plastic were on the sand—what better way than to get kids with small fingers to clean it up! Even though our girls don’t speak Spanish fluently yet, this is a great way for them to spend time with local kids and do some team-building activities.
We hiked into some amazing waterfalls last week…but I need to tell the first part of the story: Several days beforehand, we’d been at a local park and had met an ex-pat homeschooling family. The mom gave me her number and also recommended I join the homeschooling Facebook page. So I did, and also noticed a few other interesting pages. I’d been looking for a booster seat for our youngest, so I put a memo up for that. Within an hour I received this message:
“I have a booster seat. It's free. Wanna come over today to meet up, play in the pool, play with puppies and pick up the booster seat?”
Wow. I’ve never felt so much hospitality from a person I’ve never even met! After messaging back and forth, she invited us to join her family and a few others for a hike to some waterfalls the next day. We’d been wanting to do that particular hike since we’d been here in May, so we gladly joined their group. We had an amazing time with the four other families. There were several kids our kids’ ages, and the conversations flowed. We met in the little mountain town of Tamanique, and the kids all crammed into the back of a pickup truck for the first little bit. Then we all walked down through the jungle for over an hour to the beautiful oasis.
We spent the early afternoon visiting, splashing around, and cliff jumping into the deep pools of water. I overcame some fear and jumped off a cliff that was about 15 feet above the water, after watching several others (including another mom) do it. I must’ve hit the water funny, because the next morning my upper back and shoulder were sore and stiff. But the rush of having overcome that fear made the pain worth it!
Our girls have become incredibly close in the last 13 months. They are each other’s best friends now. Even though they still annoy each other at times, they play together so much better than they ever did in the past. We’ve had several people comment on this recently. Tom and I are just so thankful for this opportunity that our girls have had to bond as each other’s friends. They have plenty of times each day to work things out and show kindness to each other too. I often just tell them to “work it out” or “be kind” and usually they find a way without us intervening much at all.
I’ve been feeling like I need more human connection lately. Last Thursday we were down at the beach with a friend who was visiting from the UK for the Bitcoin conference. He also spent nearly three hours interviewing us for his podcast. One question he asked was,
“If you could snap your fingers and have things better, what would you change?”
I said,
“I would love it if we could have a freedom community here with lots of job opportunities—we have many family members and friends who want to leave Canada, but feel like they can’t, because they don’t have a way to provide for themselves from here.”
The other day we were down at Bitcoin Beach again. As we were walking from the beach back to our car, we met a lady who is staying nearby and had left Canada to move to Florida. Her story is very similar to ours—losing her job and escaping from Canada to find a better, freer life. Now she is falling in love with El Salvador and is considering moving here. The other day she came for a visit. We enjoyed connecting with her on many levels. A few days later, we spent a big chunk of the day with her, visiting and taking her to look at a property we’re interested in. The views were incredible—the majestic ocean in the distance, with rolling hills, covered in coffee farms as far as we could see.
The other day I had a 15-minute conversation with a local lady in Spanish, while our girls played together at the park. That was definitely out of my “comfort zone.” But I realized how much I was learning, and somehow we were able to understand each other, despite my limited vocabulary. Once in awhile I had to swallow my pride and say, “No entiendo..” (I don’t understand), but it was more than worth it to persevere.
There are so many ways we can find joy in the day-to-day. I’m learning that being present and grateful are some of the biggest keys. Trusting that God has a plan, even when I can’t see all of it. And getting out of my comfort zone. That’s one I’m trying to do more, which includes talking to strangers and even writing this blog.
And I never regret doing any of those things 💗
Wonderful post.
May I ask - the expats who have met - what sort of jobs do they do?
You go, mama!!! Jealous of those hikes and mountains! We don’t have any of that in flat Florida 🤣 even getting out in nature whether by yourself or with a group can be so refreshing.